make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
