There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
are you so shy because you have an std?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
and you fell through a lawn chair
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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