my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
