let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
