I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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