Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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