I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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