Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
