you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
