I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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