This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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