it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
