hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
