come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
