Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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