True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Even my vagina gasped.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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