I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
