haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How's work?
Spinning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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