I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
