I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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