What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
