Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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