Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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