Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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