every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
