That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
