We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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