wat bout pragnant strippers??
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
This toilet bowl is my home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
