I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Alive.
So much puke
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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