just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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