Non-Jews are for practice
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
