We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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