And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
