I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
