So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
