is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
