I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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