Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
