is your mom at the bar?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
