Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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