Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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