Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
