he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
