Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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