Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
