yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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