Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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