literally had 100 drinks last night.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
