I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
