I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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